So, today I took my little one to the White House Easter Egg Roll. Just me and my four year old. In very long lines, and then we were in! No, wait, another very long line. Now, we're in, and then there are the lines to do everything. And during the time we were waiting, mommy was texting and emailing and calling people, trying to put the 2013 - 2014 season together (which I hope to finalize and announce soon), rescheduling sitters, trying to schedule them for new gigs that were coming up and, and, and, and,..... At one point, I wanted to cry. I didn't want to have four-way-split focus, I didn't want to feel like I wasn't experiencing anything but stress.
So, I stopped and I didn't. I'm pretty sure it was Lady J. We were waiting in the second wrap-around-theme-park line just to get in and I noticed her pleased, quiet, patience at a time when I was losing mine. Then I noticed how blue the sky was. How the air, although still pretty crisp, was starting to feel like Spring. And then I stopped and thought about the fact that I was emailing and texting and calling people because I had work. It was working out that I was going to be an employed actor. And um........yeah, the line I was waiting in was to go and play on the White House Lawn. So.......the stress was real, is real. The tears, that never quite flowed, were justified. I stand behind them. I caught a lucky break in my own mind, if that makes sense. At least that's the way I can express it right now. I caught a lucky break and a glimpse of light. Light from my little one and I grabbed it and I came up out of the dark. Wow, this is too dramatic....oh well, gonna keep with it.....
I came up out of the dark and had a lovely, stressful, exhausting, wonderful, frustrating, exciting day with my girl. A great adventure. And I got a pix with my favorite super-hero, WordGirl. Score. I would post it, but I am cheesing more than Lady J. Love the pix, but no.
It is always complex, isn't it? It's accepting the complexity that's the trick, huh? I think, yeah. I think.
I have in the past been anti-blog, the way I was anti-text, the way my mom was anti-microwave. I think she still is. But, I text like a fiend, now. So, seems natural I should try blogging. Besides that, folks say that as a "maturing" actress of color, with a hubby and a kid, I have some interesting things to say. And since I write the way I talk....